Are You Ready for Some Dating?

pinup_football

“Some people try to find things in this game that don’t exist but football is only two things – blocking and tackling” -Vince Lombardi

I grew up in a football family. As kids we learned how to throw a football when we were very young, My father played in junior high and high school, and he coached when he was in college. His best friend spends every Saturday at our house watching college football, only missing it when he has to ref a high school game on Saturday. Football is in my blood. It even has a special language that goes along with it.

Now I know some girls aren’t too fond of football and some girls aren’t too fond of dating. To try and make the two sports more applicable to girls everywhere, I offer you my take on dating using the rules and language of football. Maybe it will make one of the games more interesting!

Flirting is usually the first step in gauging how interested someone might be. It is a good way to practice for the big game. You always, always hope for the completed pass. You can flirt with a guy and when he receives and returns the flirting, the pass is completed. This is exciting and means you are closer to that touchdown! However, you have to be really mindful of interceptions. You can have your eyes on a guy and slide in to make your move. Things are going great until your (cuter/thinner/younger) friend steps in and steals his attention. Intercepted! This is not cool by any means, but somehow you are still impressed with the play.

All too often you know you don’t have a chance, but you make a pass and hope that there is a miracle and something comes of it. That rare time where it does is one of the most exhilarating feelings the game can bring. You can’t believe that the Hail Mary pass actually worked, but you are so glad it did. This will make you try it again in the future, knowing it will rarely work.

One of the worst things in dating is the pump fake. You chat up a guy and it is going awesome. You think you’ve got things covered and you know what his next move is going to be. (You are looking forward to the date he is about to ask you on.) Then you find out he is taken and it was just a gentleman being friendly. The speed with which the play changed so quickly leaves your head spinning as you stand in awe of how far he advanced in the game of dating.

Being a player on the line of scrimmage can be where the action is! In dating, this would be bars, on-line dating sites, or speed dating. There can be many plays where not too much happens, but you will eventually tackle someone. The tackle is much easier when you see a man in motion. When you see a guy walking through the bar looking for a girl to talk to, he is considered the man in motion. You definitely want to be the player who tackles him. It may not score you any points, but it is a play that could prove to be very important.

No team should ever draft a player without doing their research. You’d hate to regret your decision down the line. This is why it is so important to probe the depths and make sure you really find out what makes the person tick. What are their goals? Who do they consult when making a big decision? Also, there is always that one attractive pick that everyone wants. Steer clear of this! They are so over-hyped that they will never reach the potential people expect them to. The really sexy girls every guy wants aren’t the type you want to take home to Mom. This also goes for the guys that ooze sexiness.

The offense usually scores more points than the defense. So don’t be afraid to get out there! If all you ever do is to wait for the other team to pursue you, you won’t get anywhere too quickly.

Clearly the “Goal Line” is the belt/waist, because anything below there, you’ve scored.

The highs and lows of dating, are much like the highs and lows of football. Sometimes your team is ahead, sometimes the other team is. In the end, even if another team wins (a friend gets married) you are sad you didn’t win, but happy they did. You applaud and cheer them on, but that fire burns inside you to win the game next time.

So you keep on playing…until you win.

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Honest Tears

Sisters who chose each other for life.


My sister wrote this amazing piece on her blog. She is honest. She is real. She is vulnerable. And these are all reasons I love her. 

dream for a living – Cry
Read this. Like yesterday. 

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105 Ways I Will Love My Man

This list can legally vote! This the update of the list I’ve been keeping for 18 years!

1. I will greet you at the door when you come home with a smile, a hug, a kiss and an, “Am I glad to see you! I really missed you today.”

2. I will have a drink ready for you when you get home.3. I will give you a lingering kiss.

4. I will make arrangements so I can spend time with you without giving you the impression that I really should or would rather be doing something else.

5. I’m willing to talk to you about your concerns and not belittle you for having them.

6. I will support you and cooperate with you, enthusiastically and positively, when you have made a decision.

7. I will tease and flirt with you.

8. I will seek to arouse you and sometimes be the aggressor or leader in sex.

9. I will ask you to have sex with me more than you would expect.

10. I will really let myself go when I’m having sex with you.

11. I will caress you.

12. I will look at you with an adoring expression.

13. I will sit close to you.

14. I will hold your hand.

15. I will rub your back.

16. I will wear your favorite nightgown, dress or perfume.

17. I will express my love in words or notes.

18. I will let you know how much I appreciate you and what I appreciate about you. I’m going to do this often and for things that are sometimes taken for granted.

19. I will frequently fulfill your wishes and desires as well as the specific requests you make of me.

20. I’ll try to anticipate what you might desire or wish and surprise you by doing it before you ask.

21. I will play with you (tennis, golf, party games…etc…) and share your hobbies and interests.

22. I will enthusiastically cooperate with you, and share with you, in devotions and prayer.

23. Together I’d like to seek to set a good example to our children when it comes to their attitudes towards life and the future. 

24. I will cook your favorite dishes for you. 

25. I will handle my affairs decently and in order.

26. I will structure my time and use it wisely.

27. I’m willing to face and solve problems even if it requires discomfort, change and much effort.

28. I will fulfill all my responsibilities.

29. I will frequently ask you for advice…and follow it.

30. I will always be ready to leave at the appointed time.

31. I will stand with you and support you, in your attempts to raise our children in the way we think is right. 

32. I will do things just because you’e asked me to do them.

33. I will thank you in creative ways for your attempts to please me.

34. I will ask for forgiveness, admit when I was wrong, and tell you that I will change.

35. I will actually change where I should.

36. I will work with you on your projects.

37. I will read the literature you ask me to read and share my insights on it with you.

38. I will let you know that I really support you and know you will make the right decision when you have tough (and not so tough) decisions to make.

39. I will wholeheartedly support you in whatever decision you make.

40. I will be your best cheerleader.

41. I will buy random gifts for you.

42. I will watch sporting events with you and manifest an interest.

43. I will keep our house neat and clean.

44. I will cook creatively and faithfully.

45. I will make sure to share with you tidbits of our family’s day when you are out of town. 

46. I will maintain our disciplinary rules when you are not there.

47. I will be appreciative and cooperative when you hold me, kiss me, or caress me.

48. I will lovingly give you my input when I think you are in error.

49. I will offer constructive suggestions when I think you could improve or become more productive.

50. I will not push a preach at you. I will always seek ways to help you become the man that you to be.

51. I will run errands gladly.

52. I will be lovingly honest with you at all times.

53. I will be willing to see things from your point of view and put the best interpretation on what you do and say.

54. I will pamper you and make a fuss over you.

55. I will be happy and cheerful.

56. I will not nag.

57. I will gently brush your leg under the dinner table.

58. I will have candlelight and music at dinner on occasion.

59. I will indicate when I want to be alone with you and just lay in your arms.

60. I will go for a walk with you.

61. I will wink at you.

62. I will let you know how lonely I feel when you are out of town or away from me for a period of time.

63. I will share what happened to me during my day with you.

64. I will share your concerns, fears, and failures. 

65. I will share in your desires, dreams and joys. 

66. I refuse to “cop out” or withdraw and attack or exaggerate or blameshift when you seek to make constructive suggestions or discuss problems.

67. I will give you my undivided attention when you want to talk.

68. I will meaningfully discuss with you how to improve our marriage, home, child, child raising efforts, etc.

69. I will cheerfully stay up past my bedtime to resolve problems or a disagreement.

70. I will hold you close, while expressing genuine concern, and vocal love when you are hurt, discouraged, weary or burdened.

71. I will be eager to share a good joke with you or some other interesting information I have learned.

72. I will work in the yard with you.

73. I will paint a room with you.

74. I will wash your car with you.

75. I will plans vacations and trips with you.

76. I will keep family memorabilia, pictures, newspaper clippings, church releases, and other things that have to do with our family.

77. I will brag about you, your accomplishments, and what a good husband you are.

78. I will join with you in your hobbies. 

79. I will host friends and family with you in our home.

80. I will do a good job in bookkeeping and family finances.

81. I will help prepare our taxes.

82. I will keep touch through letters and phone calls with our family and friends.

83. I will keep myself attractive and clean.

84. I will invite other people into our home for dinner and fellowship.

85. I will develop and use the natural gifts I have been given.

86. I will tell you about something that is on my mind and ask for your feedback. 

87. I will express how much I love our children.

88. I will manage to stay within our family budget and even save some for special surprises.

89. I will be excited about our life together.

90. I will be excited about our small steps of achieving big goals. 

91. I will be excited about helping others.

92. I will make a list for you of things that need to be done around the house.

93. I will be satisfied with my present standard of living when you can provide no more.

94. I will not compare you to my father…or my father’s way of providing.

95. I will know and be aware of my shortcomings and the areas that I need to improve.

96. I will take care of your clothes so that you are always dressed well.

97. I will appreciate and help your mother, father and relatives.

98. I will seek to have a strong relationship with your siblings and their spouses.

99. I will not disagree with you in the presence of others.

100. I will be silly and unconventional in our lovemaking at times.

101. I will tell you, before you ask, that I think you’ve done a good job.

102. I will be eager and available to fulfill your desires wherever and whenever it is proper and possible.

103. I will begin each day with cheerfulness and tangible expressions of affection.

104. I will let my children know that we agree on things.

105. I will tell my children, when you can hear, and when you cannot, how much I love you and what a good man you are. 

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1950’s Dreaming

  
I’ve always dreamed of being a 1950’s housewife. The problem is that I’m an absolutely hopeless romantic. I swoon when I watch It’s a Wonderful Life and see the way George Bailey loves Mary Bailey.

  

The way she takes care of him, manages their household while he provides for his family, and unconditionally loves him is so sweet. It is incredibly endearing when George appreciates all he has at the end of the film and embraces Mary. He kisses her and holds her as if she’s part of him and he can’t live without her.
The romantic in me dreams of that.
Now I know life isn’t like that all the time. I’m not that naive. However, a few sweet moments like that would be lovely.

  

I want to always be thankful for the way a husband provides for me. I’d like to always be content with what I have. I’d love the things he purchased for me and try not to want for the things he didn’t. Material possessions are a blast. Trust me, I have a taste for the finer things in life. At the end of the day, I’d rather be with him than in a fancy house and car.

  

I’d provide for him in other ways. Cleaning our home, cooking for him, making sure he always has laundry that is clean and put away. I think it would be so enjoyable to sit and plan meals, do the grocery shopping, and have dinner on the table for him. It would be a wonderful partnership. I would adore loving a man and taking care of him.

  

I’d love to share recipes with the women in his family and the girlfriends I have. I have other friends who are truly wonderful wives and I’d love for them to share their tears, their laughter, and their advice with me.

 

As boring as all that may sound, there is certainly a very playful and frisky side to me. I’d adore surprising him with random sex, cute lingerie, or an outfit he favors. I’d visit him at work over lunch and attempt to get away with whatever he’d let me. I’d want him to completely ravish me the moment he walks in the door after work. I’d wake him up in the best way possible, make him breakfast while he went back to sleep, wake him up to eat, and after our meal we’d curl up and fall asleep again. You know…to regain our strength for doing it all over again later that afternoon.

  

What complicates this dream of mine is my inability to have children. Most men who would be ok with me being an old fashioned housewife are very traditional. They want to wife, family…the whole nine yards. It makes dating difficult and a constant stream of disappointment. Which is why I originally gave up on dating and currently have no desire for a relationship. I’m not seeking one and I’m not necessarily sure I’d even want one if it stumbled upon me. Though in all honesty, I think I just say those things at times so I don’t feel as lonely. 

  

I’m finding happiness in life right now. I’m enjoying following my other dreams. I’m loving time spent with friends. I’ve certainly enjoyed the fabulous parties one enjoys as a single gal. Here is to never letting go of my dreams, but being always being happy in the present!

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Struggle with Silence 

“The battle you are going through is not fueled by the words or actions of others; it is fueled by the mind that gives it importance.” -Shannon L. Alder

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Frosted Sheets

Here is an embarrassing story I shared with a friend. I dump it here for you all to laugh at.

I got really drunk on Tequila one time and decided it would be a good idea to eat half a container of chocolate frosting in bed. I woke up and the container was empty. The other half of the frosting ended up all over me and my sheets. It literally looked like I shit in my sleep.

But the story doesn’t end there.

I take of my shorts and toss them on my floor. About a week later I put the chocolate stained white shorts back on without realizing it. I noticed I was wearing them when a stranger pointed out the “stains” when I was in a store.

Yep. I’m classy as fuck. “Ain’t no shame in my frosting game,” is no longer true.

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Where I Stand

I’m a strange one and a tough voter to please. I identify as Christian but pretty much dislike other Christians and think they are judgemental assholes. I’m pro-life, anti-Capital Punishment, and pro-second amendment. I’m pro-military but I think most wars are petty and wrong. I think our legal system is severely flawed, and our prison system is unhumane. I don’t promote spending more money on education.

I’m an environmentalist who believes God entrusted us with taking care of our planet. Going along with that, we are to be good stewards and kind to animals. I don’t eat veal and buy cage free eggs. Both because I think we have a responsible to treat animals with gentleness. I can’t stand humans who keep their dogs caged or outside all the time.

I don’t think we should align ourselves so strongly with Israel. I’m a Palestinian sympathizer but it has nothing to do with my views on Israel. I don’t think America is always right and every other country is always wrong.

I think government recognized marriages should be thrown out and we should have civil unions for everyone, both gay and straight. What did Jeaus say? Oh yeah… “the greatest of these is LOVE.” So civil unions for all!! Love is beautiful. Marriage is an institution that belongs in the church.

I’d disband the IRS in favor of a flat sales tax. (The more you make the more you spend. The more you spend the more you contribute.) This would make even undocumented workers help pay for social programs they take advantage of. I’m firmly against illegal immigration but think we need to make an easier, quicker, and cheaper path to citizenship. Why deny citizenship to people who want to move here, work hard, and help make our country the great melting pot it is?

I think our government is too big. I think we need social programs and they are vitally important but need to be at the state and local level. Make people in the community think of and help others. Spread that love around!

Most importantly I think everyone needs to mind their own business, stop judging, and start loving their fellow human beings. We need to treat one another with respect and dignity. We must fight for the poor, disadvantaged, and imprisoned fellow beings of our planet, loving ALL, especially those we disagree with.  At the end of the day we all live on this same big planet. I think Americans are so self centered and it makes me sad. We need to think about those who are suffering outside our borders.

Peace & Love to all.

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Law School

Should I? Hmm… I’ll have to keep keeping up this GPA if I want to do that. Crap.

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Pushing Through Life

I feel like there are so many things that I’m passionate about right now. I want to sit and write down my thoughts and feelings so I can look back in the future and see if I’ve changed. I want to see if I’ve learned or grown. I don’t want to ever stall in my development. I always want to be working towards being a better person. Being a wiser person. Being a happier person.

One of the ways I’m pushing myself is by going back to school. I joke from time to time that I lack motivation, but I pushed myself hard to get into a competitive program at a school that is considered a public ivy. I wrote three essays. I gathered transcripts that were over a decade old. I filled out multiple different applications. I filed for student aid. I took out loans. And I crossed my fingers that I could do it.

I was truly terrified that the damage I still had from my brain injury was too great to handle college courses. College came so easy to me the first time. Too easy. I could have been a straight A student but chose to have a very active social life and be an A/B student. I could handle going to school full time and working. Is this something I could do now, over ten years later?

I made the decision that if I didn’t try, I’d always wonder. I’d always have that little voice in the back of my mind telling me lie would be different if I’d gone to college. Having a degree was a dream I was pursuing before my health changed my whole world. So I made the leap. I had faith.

And I withdrew from college my first semester back.

It was a devastating blow. I felt like a failure and wasn’t sure what I was going to do with my life, or how I was going to pay off my new-found school debt.

I took a step back and asked myself why I couldn’t cut it. I had to analyze that not only for myself, but also so that I’d know what to avoid pursuing in the future. I realized two things. The first was that my brain had changed. A lot. The things I was good at before (creative writing) I struggled with. The things I hated before (straight out memorization of facts) I loved and was great at. The second thing I felt when I looked back at the semester is that I was being lazy. I got sick and fell behind and didn’t make enough effort to catch up. I didn’t consider working ahead so that it would be ok if I was sick and missed some school.

So I made another go of it. I changed my major to something that would be easier on my brain. Before deciding on a major I also decided to research what the job market was like so I’d know I’d have job options once I finally did graduate. I settled on switching from Journalism to Labor Law. And I did great in my second semester.

I was so proud of myself and newly excited about life. There is nothing like the high of doing pain-in-the-ass stuff and working hard, and then seeing it all pay off. Riding that natural high made me wonder what more I could do. How else could I push myself?

I’m currently taking two classes over the summer. I’ve signed up for more hours in the Fall than I did in the Spring. I’m seeing how much I can do. What can I really handle if I try my hardest?

It isn’t easy. I’m a natural procrastinator so I really have to push myself. The classes are tough. Right around the middle of every semester I start having doubts and feel like giving up on this degree. But I push through because what is the worst that could happen? I fail? I have to try again? Not a big deal.

I’ve failed before, I’ll fail again, and I’m not going to let it get me down.

However, this hard work has turned me a bit bitter towards some of the people I know. They share their hopes and dreams with me. They share the things they want to accomplish. I encourage them. I’m excited for them. And then I sit them sit on their asses and do nothing. I see them having contentment in living their current life and just talking about what could be. I want to shake them and tell them to knock it off. I want more for them.

How do you tell someone that? How do you tell someone to stop just talking about what they’d like and to start making it happen? I’ve yet to come up with a way to do it that is sensitive and loving. I want more for them! I want them to have everything they are capable of getting but just talk about. But I’ve been there. I’ve been lazy and I’ve failed.

By the grace of God I’ve seen the other side. And it is glorious, my friends. Absolutely wonderful. I wouldn’t give up all the hard work for anything. In fact, it makes me want to work harder to see if life can get even better! It will get even better. I just know it.

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Priorities

A I want to do is sit here and write. I want to spill out all the thoughts deep in my soul here. However, I have so much school stuff to do this summer. These law classes are killing me!!

I’m going to write soon. I promise. My heart needs it.

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