Where I Stand

I’m a strange one and a tough voter to please. I identify as Christian but pretty much dislike other Christians and think they are judgemental assholes. I’m pro-life, anti-Capital Punishment, and pro-second amendment. I’m pro-military but I think most wars are petty and wrong. I think our legal system is severely flawed, and our prison system is unhumane. I don’t promote spending more money on education.

I’m an environmentalist who believes God entrusted us with taking care of our planet. Going along with that, we are to be good stewards and kind to animals. I don’t eat veal and buy cage free eggs. Both because I think we have a responsible to treat animals with gentleness. I can’t stand humans who keep their dogs caged or outside all the time.

I don’t think we should align ourselves so strongly with Israel. I’m a Palestinian sympathizer but it has nothing to do with my views on Israel. I don’t think America is always right and every other country is always wrong.

I think government recognized marriages should be thrown out and we should have civil unions for everyone, both gay and straight. What did Jeaus say? Oh yeah… “the greatest of these is LOVE.” So civil unions for all!! Love is beautiful. Marriage is an institution that belongs in the church.

I’d disband the IRS in favor of a flat sales tax. (The more you make the more you spend. The more you spend the more you contribute.) This would make even undocumented workers help pay for social programs they take advantage of. I’m firmly against illegal immigration but think we need to make an easier, quicker, and cheaper path to citizenship. Why deny citizenship to people who want to move here, work hard, and help make our country the great melting pot it is?

I think our government is too big. I think we need social programs and they are vitally important but need to be at the state and local level. Make people in the community think of and help others. Spread that love around!

Most importantly I think everyone needs to mind their own business, stop judging, and start loving their fellow human beings. We need to treat one another with respect and dignity. We must fight for the poor, disadvantaged, and imprisoned fellow beings of our planet, loving ALL, especially those we disagree with.  At the end of the day we all live on this same big planet. I think Americans are so self centered and it makes me sad. We need to think about those who are suffering outside our borders.

Peace & Love to all.

The one where she tells you she’s going blind…

There is a prayer I’ve been repeating in my head.  It is a good one.  From Matthew 6.  So let me share it with you.

9 Pray then like this:

“Our Father in heaven,
hallowed be your name.
10 Your kingdom come,
your will be done,
on earth as it is in heaven.
11 Give us this day our daily bread,
12 and forgive us our debts,
as we also have forgiven our debtors.
13 And lead us not into temptation,
but deliver us from evil.

It is how God taught us to pray.  It is something I’ve been praying quite a bit.  Especially about God’s will being done.

Why?

Well two weeks ago I found out from my doctor that I’m going blind.  It could be two years…it could be five years.  But I might have driving taken away from me in as little as three months.

At first I took the news really well.  But looking back at the last two weeks I’ve realized that I’ve gone through the five stages of grief.

1. Denial – At first I was fine. It was no big deal.  One of my best friends is blind and he lives a full life.  His blindness doesn’t hinder him in any way.
2. Anger  – Boy was I pissed.  I even went for a three hour drive one day that involved me listening to Rage Against the Machine and Rammstein very loudly.
3. Bargaining – “Ok God, if you don’t make this happen I promise I’ll get more involved at church.”
4. Depression – I stayed in bed for two days.
5. Acceptance – Finally!  I’m at acceptance.  It feels good to be a bit more even keeled bout the whole situation.  Plus, it is much easier to process information the doctor tells you when you aren’t hysterical or depressed.  Go figure!

So this is the blog post where I tell you I’m going blind.  If you treat me as if  I’m sick or dying, I won’t be your friend anymore.  And I’m totally fine talking about it so ask questions if there is stuff you want to know.  I’m ok, and I will be from here on out.

And for my family, and the few friends who were REALLY there for me when I was struggling (I’m looking at you Wyckoff and McJunkin), Thank You.  You guys are the best.

Sweet Maura

Please keep Maura and the entire DeSouza family in your prayers. 

Maura is home now on Hospice and resting.  Sleeping, sleeping, sleeping.  Maura’s kidneys shut down last week after her tumors returned with a vengeance.  There are no more effective treatments that she can take. Any other measures taken now would just prolong her suffering.  She does not want any extraordinary measures taken.  She is at peace;  she is not afraid to die;  and she is absolutely sure that she will soon be in Heaven.

What a blessing it is to have peace in our LORD and Savior.  She is such a strong and amazing woman and is facing death with a profound confidence that I hope to have someday.  She is so lovely and when she is gone we will miss her so…but be glad that God let us share in a little part of her life.  And I know that we will all take comfort in knowing that she is out of pain.  (And we will all be a little bit jealous that she gets to sit in Heaven with God.  She will be Home.)

To her family I offer up this prayer…

O merciful Father, who hast taught us in thy holy Word that
thou dost not willingly afflict or grieve the children of men:
Look with pity upon the sorrows of thy servant for whom
our prayers are offered. Remember him, O Lord, in mercy,
nourish his soul with patience, comfort him with a sense of
thy goodness, lift up thy countenance upon him, and give
him peace; through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.

Happy Birthday, Texas!

Happy Birthday, Texas!  I plan on celebrating it today with 24.3 million of my closest friends.  (Yay for Texans!)  I can’t believe you are 173 years old already.  I’m really looking forward to 175 in 2011! 

I’m in an incredibly good mood today so I figured I should blog before something happens and my mood changes.  Wow.  That sounded optimistic.  🙂  I guess I’m just in such a great mood that the only place to go from here is down.  Not that I have any intention of my mood changing.

I just renewed my U2.comsubscription.  Ticket information for the tour comes out on Monday and I couldn’t be more excited!  I’m totally pumped for the new album.  It comes out tomorrow and I’m ready to get the album and enjoy it.  (That is if I can actually wait and not buy it on iTunes tonight.)  Oh, iTunes, how I loathe you and the power you have over my checking account.

I think popcorn is an amazing food and totally under appreciated.  Then again, it can be butchered and that is never good.

So my parents have this neighbor who isn’t the sharpest tool in the shed.   Apparently his dogs have been getting into his flower beds and he isn’t happy about it.  They can’t be doing all that much damage because his flower beds only have dirt and bushes in them.  Plus, they are tiny, tiny dogs who are rarely outside.  Still, he isn’t happy they get in them.  So how is he solving this problem?  By throwing Black Cat firecrackers at his dogs when they get near the flower beds.  Don’t you think that is a bit abusive?  I totally do.  I’m sure that this guy thinks it is a clever idea that he came up with.  It makes me want to punch him in the balls.

I went to see my roommate’s band on Saturday night.  The Guns of Detroit were amazing.  They put on a great show.  Of all the bands that played they had this biggest crowd of the night.  It was really fun to see Randall command the stage.  He’s an amazing musician and I love having him as a roommate.  (He’s a good one!)  Joey went to the show with me and we had a ton of fun.  Making memories with friends is always an activity you should take part in.  I’m looking forward to the next Guns of Detroit show and enjoying it with my brother and some good friends.  Check out their music.

I’m tired of war and fighting.  Whatever happened to peace, love and understanding?  People suck.

Reading Erin’s latest blog about Maura made me thankful for perspective as well.  So often I get too caught up in my own selfish thoughts and forget that I have so much to be thankful for.  I have so many things in my life that I should be praising God for.  I wish I was better about that.  I wish I always kept things in perspective because if I did, I’d never have a single thing to complain about.  All my aches, pains and problems are of this world and won’t last forever.

I’m so overwhelmed with the idea of eternity.  My finite mind can’t process the idea of my soul living forever.  Granted, it overwhelms me because I think of living an eternal life with chronic mono and all my aches and pains.  Thankfully, because of Christ, I won’t have to.  He washed away my sin and made it able for me to live in eternity.  I love going to church because I feel that it is a small glimpse of how complete my soul will feel in heaven.  The natural high that comes from worshipping God can be breathtaking.  (Sorry.  I had an amazing time at worship yesterday so I’m kind of on a church kick right now.)

Well, I’ve got to get back to working and listening to U2.  I’m working my way through their entire catalogue and I’m just about done.  (Right in time for No Line On The Horizon!)  Ciao!

Late Presidents’ Day Post

Am I the only one who finds the humor in our presidents being pictured in front of the presidential seal?

Frustration

Why is it so dang hard to just be happy with everything that God has so richly blessed me with?  Why can’t I be content with the way that He wants things to be?

I wish that I was filled with joy about the way things are in my life.

“I don’t care what they say about us anyway”

Why are people so concerned with appearances?  Why can’t anyone just be real anymore?  Why don’t people have the backbone to say something to your face if they are upset about something?  Why do people assume I care about what they think of me?  Why are people two faced?  Why is it that the one place you should find comfort is the coldest, loneliest place in the world?  What happened to love and grace?  What happened to humor and joking around?

Sin.

Beautiful Nikki

My old college roommate, Nikki, totally said something beautiful over at her blog.  I loved it so much that I wanted to share it.

We were not made for this world! The world is full of lies and discouragement. It’s not easy to believe. Thankfully, God created this world with trees and animals and beautiful mountains and rolling oceans. Beauty, to remind us that He loves us. To remind us that Heaven will be so much more than this. And He is so much more than everything.

Isn’t my Nikki amazing?  You should go read her blog.  She just blogged about how she fell in love with Jesus and it was amazing.  I love you, Nik!

Give Thanks

With Thanksgiving around the corner I want to know what you guys are thankful for.

I’m thankful for my pseudo brain tumor.

-it made me question my faith
-it brought me closer to God
-it brought me closer to my family
-it made me see the true meaning of what a church family is
-it changed the whole path of my life
-it reminded me that God is in control. Always.
-it reminded me of Christ suffering on the cross when I was in pain
-it made me love life and look forward to Heaven

Romans 13:1-2

Everyone must submit himself to the governing authorities, for there is no authority except that which God has established. The authorities that exist have been established by God. Consequently, he who rebels against the authority is rebelling against what God has instituted, and those who do so will bring judgment on themselves.